Confirmshaming: the dark side of copywriting

What are dark patterns?

Dark patterns are techniques you use on a website or app to trick users into doing something they probably wouldn’t do of their own volition. These techniques can be applied to the design and copy.

Take this example from De Tijd. When I want to unsubscribe from personalised newsletters and articles, I get this popup:

The first thing I notice is the large title, which reads “Are you sure you don’t want personalised information anymore?”. After that, my eye is drawn by the green button, which looks like I will be confirming my choice. Logically, I would click on that in a heartbeat. However, the text on the button states the opposite. Well played, De Tijd. By (ab)using the common oversight on the user’s end, they undoubtedly manage to trick some people into choosing personalised content.

There are numerous examples like the one above. However, in this blog post, I want to speak about a specific dark pattern in copywriting: confirmshaming.

How to make users feel bad

Haven’t heard of confirmshaming yet? Read on to discover what it means. Unless you don’t mind not knowing – that's fine, too.

And there you go, an example of confirmshaming.

Confirmshaming is commonly used in popups, such as the ones asking you if you want to subscribe to the newsletter (No, I do not want a discount) or special offers (No, I like paying too much). These techniques are also called negative opt-outs or manipulinks. They are designed to make the user feel ashamed enough to pick the other option, which would benefit the site or app owner.

Confirmshaming usually looks like this:

A big, noticeable confirmation button.
A smaller rejection link with a negative tone.

Are their benefits to confirmshaming?

While the design example from De Tijd played into the fact that users want to decide quickly, confirmshaming fans have a different logic. According to them, you create a pause to make the user think.

If the options are a simple Yes, please and a No thanks, it’s easy to choose without thinking. But if you say something along the lines of Yes, please and No, because I’m stupid, you will draw attention to that second option.

"This pause is gold for marketing professionals. It makes people rethink their choice and increase the odds that they will change their decision. "

Caner Uguz, product designer and front-end developer

Another argument for confirmshaming is that it delivers a higher micro-conversion rate, such as newsletter subscriptions. But do you really want someone to subscribe to your newsletter because they had no other choice?

Don’t go to the dark side

Whether you want to use these dark patterns is up to you. I believe the pros don’t outweigh the cons. Even though the number of micro-conversions can increase, the long-term consequences will come back to haunt you. People who aren’t interested in your newsletter will chuck it straight in the bin. In the long run, you could even irritate people, which would make all positive feelings associated with your brand disappear.

"The short-term gains seen by increased micro-conversions will come at the expense of disrespecting users, which will likely result in long-term losses. "

Kate Moran & Kim Flaherty, senior user experience specialists at Nielsen Norman Group

Moreover, a technique such as confirmshaming often has the opposite effect because people don't allow a website or app to intimidate them. As I said in my blog post on conversational writing, we respond the same way to digital interfaces as we would to humans. And if someone offends you, you will not trust them again anytime soon.

However, you don’t have to go all the way just yet. You can also play into users’ feelings in a more innocent way as Drizly does. That allows your users to think twice without being offended:

The power of emotions

Many techniques can increase conversion rates, but you must consider the user. How would you respond to certain things? How would you want to be addressed when using an app? Humanity is always the key. After all, we’re all humans with emotions – not soulless robots. Conversions matter, but they can never be won at the expense of the feeling users associate with your brand or platform. Because that feeling is priceless.

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